January Notes from the Heart - Embracing Imperfection
Well, here we are, halfway through January already. I type this from a tiny, cozy studio suite in the heart of the Canadian Rockies, while glancing out the window every few minutes to see the wind rustling through the pines and the snow swirling and blowing off the tops of the mountains beyond… a beautiful frozen land clutched in the depths of winter.
Surrounded by candlelight and sipping a cup of coffee with a dash of maple syrup splashed in (as a Canadian does), I’ve been contemplating these last few days of living a slightly slower life, and of trying not to let “the hustle” take control. These slow days I find, for me, are crucial. Winter hibernation will lead to rejuvenation - and after a crazy season the last few months, this introvert is totally ready to embrace my winter hermit / hibernation mode!
The year of 2023 came swiftly but softly - I hardly even noticed the transition. But what I did notice was my total lack of New Year’s resolutions, goals or grand ambitions for all the things I want to do and the successes I hope to achieve; in art, business and life. In fact… I think I actually stepped backwards in the goals department. Are reverse goals a thing?! Because I’m pretty sure I did just that.
I made a reverse resolution to be, well… imperfect. To embrace it. I am rather a perfectionist by nature, and perhaps it’s a trait that has assisted me in super fine-tuning my art and craft, but it has also backfired in even more ways than it’s been helpful. A lot of my art, ideas, and work are left hanging and undone because of the nagging feeling that it’s not good enough yet, that it’s not worth enough, that it has to be perfect before it can be embraced. But through this current season of quiet contemplation, I’m realizing more and more just how untrue those thoughts are (and not to mention how anxiety-inducing!).
I suppose my intention (or reverse resolution) to focus on more this year, is this: Don’t hold myself to anything. Instead, carry a gentle, forgiving and kind mindset towards my slowness and imperfections. I do hope to be more real and more loving in both my art and the way I live, but I ultimately hope to be more forgiving and understanding of myself when I don’t feel aligned with those intentions… because isn’t that what being more real and loving is about? To still be able to embrace our worthiness when we’re not living by our own definition of perfection, or even of enough?
For those of you who have seen or bought my 2023 calendar, you’ll know I titled it as “The Year of Wild Courage”. The more I think about it now, perhaps one of the most wildly courageous things to do is to embrace our imperfection and to own it, to move forward lovingly within it - to live openly exactly as we are, to see our connectedness to each other through all our imperfect lives. I might not bravely chase any grand goals this year, or strive to be the most epic/most artsy/most organized/best version of myself, but oddly I am feeling more at home in my own skin and in life than ever before - and I truly think it’s from embracing the thought of knowing I’m already enough.
The funny thing is, in my experience, when I’ve been able to embrace these kind of “reverse resolutions” and accept that I’m already enough… then more of my art and work has actually been more successful afterwards. I think there’s something to be said for focusing on acceptance inward before outward… I think maybe if we can courageously accept ourselves inwardly, then the outwardly falls into place more naturally. Maybe it’s magic. Maybe it’s something more. I don’t know… but I’m here for it. This year more than ever.
Anyway, that’s it for now. That’s my blurb. Written mostly for myself to process my own thoughts, but I also know that sharing our thoughts can be a way to connect to others who might be on a similar path or who needed to hear the words. Whether or not this meant anything to you, I thank you for reading and following along. ♥
Feel free to respond with your thoughts in the comments - I always enjoy hearing from you!
An image of Pepper and I - taken on Jan 14, 2023.